UPS

There are two shops here that sell UPS. For those who don't know what it is, I will explain. UPS stands for Uninterrupted Power Supply and does what it says on the tin. When we have one of the frequent power-cuts from-September onwards the computer obviously shuts down with a bang. Likewise, when lightning is in the air things happen. Last year I lost my motherboard when lightning struck the telephone pole outside the apartment.

The UPS gently shuts down the computer, saving any open files and stays on with battery power for around 15 minutes. It is also designed to protect your computer from surges and the modem too.

I bought one from the satellite/stereo/television shop instead of the computer shop. Rather unfortunate that I didn't think of the latter, Tassos, as he's great, young Greek man who has lived in the States and his father is a carpenter. We know him well and it simply didn't occur to me that he would have UPS.

It has two telephone connections labelled Line and F/M/T respectively. On the box it says (among other things) TEL/FAX/MODEM protection ports.

We installed it a week ago and on Sunday plugged it into our ISDN/ADSL modem. Have you guessed yet?

Nothing worked... including the phone and internet now. We put it all back the way it had been. Still nothing worked. Needless to say we tried everything.

Monday I called the friendly OTE (Greek Telephone) technician, Yiorgos. He came within a couple of hours - and spent the next four trying to work out what the problem was. I had to stand on a table on the balcony handing him up an electrical extension and the ISDN modem while he stood on the roof with a rake ready to hook and lift them. This was after trying everything he could think of inside and not making any headway. He promised he would not leave without leaving us with a phone and the internet.

All well on the roof, he announced.

To cut a long story short... the UPS had fried all but two of the (fine) telephone wires in the cable that runs between the roof and the "office" - an area rather than a room.

Yiorgos managed to isolate and twist two working wires together to allow us to have a phone and the internet as a temporary measure. He said he would call Yiorgos the Electrician to come and replace the cable, maybe Tuesday (today).

I went to see the people who had sold us the UPS this morning. He is Greek, she, German but speaks excellent Greek and fair English. He only comes to the shop between 5-9pm - what the Greeks call afternoon.

Yiorgos the Telephone had apparently already spoken to the man, Niko. Niko had told him, as the wife told me, that the UPS is not designed to be connected to the phone line.

I asked her "in that case can you explain what Line and F/M/T means and why they look remarkably like telephone connections?" She replied that these were not telephone connections and helpfully produced a telephone and passed it in front of the socket. I reached for the connector and shoved it into the hole.

She said anxiously "oh du sheizen" and pulled it out. I smiled sweetly at her and asked her what she was going to do about our problem. She fluttered and I said I would be back between 5 and 9 if Nikos would be there because I wanted my money back. She assured me it would be fine and yes, come when Nikos was there.

Tassos tells me that I have no chance whatsoever in this man giving me my money back.

We are going there this evening to see if this is the case.

I bumped into Yiorgos the Telephone earlier as he was standing outside Yiorgos the Electrician's shop. He shouted to me to come in so he could translate.

They arranged that Yiorgos the Electrician would come and replace the telephone wires this afternoon - between 5 and 5.30 and then we'll go and see Nikos. Yiorgos (T) confirmed that he'd spoken to Nikos who had convinced him that the UPS was not designed for use with a telephone. I taught him a good Anglo-Saxon word - bull**** but he's obviously not convinced.

Watch this space